Bitch Fest.

Well, my best friend Jon and I have been having a lot of tension recently. Because I met this guy, Isaac, and have been hanging out with him a lot, Jon got all weird. Like I was supposed to give up time with Isaac to talk on the phone with him. He's been giving me a lot of shit for it and I've been really stressed and it's just another thing I don't need, especially with the fact that I work a lot, am soon going to be moved from my current location and don't have consecutive days off. Anyway, today it blew up. I was in Isaac's car after talking for a LONG time with Jon last night and he kept calling me and texting me to talk to him. So I called him up and Isaac went into the video store and basically I just blew up. Jon was like "I didn't like that I felt you were leading me on and if you would have rather hung out with Isaac than talk to me, just say so" etc. And basically, I was frustrated, angry and after a few days of not enough sleep and him pushing and pushing me I had had it. I basically said we talk and talk and don't say anything and I don't want to talk anymore. Being with Isaac makes me happy and talking to him makes me miserable. I didn't really mean to say that, but I was so angry. I basically said it to hurt him. I mean, talking to him recently has caused me to be more depressed, stressed and short tempered. I don't think that can be thought of as miserable though. Anyway, I basically said I'd call him next time I want to talk. I don't know when I'm going to call him again. I don't even know if I want to. It's partly pride but it's also because I'm hurt. He has the audacity to oversimplify my emotions and my thoughts when the day before he criticized me for doing the same. I don't know what's going on. I'm just tired and frustrated. I don't want Jon out of my life. He is my best friend. But I feel like he doesn't trust me or even really know me. I have the feeling he thinks I'm someone I'm not simply because he just wants me to be this imaginary person. Bah, I guess this is a lot of bitching and moaning. I still have no fucking clue what to do. I don't know if I want to talk to Jon for a while. But I don't want to hurt his feelings and make him feel abandoned by not calling him at all. I'm just really unsure of what to do right now. Anyway, I'm going to go off and stab something.